Malacanang's Defense of Teehankee's Release

Let’s have a bit of fun at the expense of those moro_s who decided to free Teehankee.

Let’s take a look at that news item wherein the Palace defended its decision to release that Teehankee bas_ard. The Administration’s mouthpieces said a lot of things in defense of the Palace, but it you look closely at their statements, it seems they were actually trying to say something else.

Its like you need a “political translation” on their words, to fully understand what they really thinking, and what they were actually trying to say. Let me go out and do some of the translation for everybody’s benefit. The translations of most of the Admin mouthpiece’s statements are below in italic, bold font:


Palace defends Teehankee pardon ‘No complaint from Hultmans’–Ermita

By Joel Guinto

MANILA, Philippines — (UPDATE) Malacañang has defended President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo’s grant of executive clemency to a controversial murder convict, saying this underwent a “very rigorous review.”

(Translation: He’s rich, and his family is close to the Administration)

Claudio Teehankee Jr.,who was convicted for the 1991 murders of 16-year-old Maureen Hultman and 21-year-old Roland John Chapman was released from the National Bilibid Prisons on Friday evening.

Executive Secretary Eduardo Ermita said that as early as 1999, the Hultman family had agreed to a P6-million settlement with the Teehankees. Under the terms of the settlement, the Hultmans would get the Teehankees’ house in San Juan if the convict failed to pay the full amount.

“This was committed [against] the Hultmans, and the Hultmans did not object when asked about the possibility of giving Mr. Teehankee pardon,” Ermita told reporters in Malacañang.

(Translation: The Hultmanns thought their daughter’s life was worth P6 million. And possibly a house. Besides, she’s fuc_ing dead, so who cares? Also, those Teehankees were starting to scare the beejesus out of them)

“The Hultmans thought there was remorse on the part of Mr Teehankee. He has served his time, and therefore, they did not object when they were asked during the processing of his paper…That’s a major factor [in the President’s decision],” he added.

(Translation: His as_ was being rubbed raw in jail, and he wants to get out. Desperately.)

Ermita said the grant of executive clemency was Arroyo’s prerogative.

(Translation: ‘Nek-nek nyo’. She likes her rich friends)

“There really is nothing special about it except for the fact that he is a prominent personality,” he said.

(What he really meant: Of course he’s special. He’s rich, and influential. Crawl out of your shell, people)

Justice Secretary Raul Gonzalez, for his part, said he was informed that the Hultmans had been advised of the impending release of Teehankee and posed no objection.

“I also assume that he has already paid the civil indemnity to the family of the victim,” Gonzalez said.

(Translation: He had enough money to pay off the family, that’s what. Couldn’t you guys figure that out on your own?)

Gonzalez admitted that Teehankee’s brother, Manuel, a former justice undersecretary, dropped by his office one time and asked if Claudio could be released on parole.

Press Secretary Jesus Dureza pointed out that Teehankee was only one of 292 prisoners that were granted executive clemency in an order dated September 28.

Asked about perceptions the clemency order on Teehankee was kept secret, Dureza said: “There is no such thing as secrecy. When we grant clemency it’s publicly announced, although some malicious minds will probably give it that spin.”

(Translation: Damn you, damn you all, how the hell did you find out he was released? Damn you and your “morality”)

Earlier, he told radio station dzMM that the case of Teehankee was “subject to very rigorous review, it was even reviewed twice.”

(Translation: He’s rich, and his family is close to the Administration, and they kept asking Gloria about it. Very rigorously.)

For good conduct, Dureza said five days was deducted from Teehankee’s sentence for every month he spent in jail in his first two years of imprisonment.

(Translation: P100k for every year deducted from his sentence is just about right)

“Ultimately [after] 14 years of being imprisoned, he was therefore entitled to a commutation of sentence,” Dureza said.

(Translation: He and his family couldn’t wait to bring him out of jail, and that 14 year technicality was a nice excuse)

Dureza said all convicts who have displayed good behavior in prison were entitled to executive clemency.

(Translation: How good a behaviour you did in jail, depends on how much money, and how much connection you and your family has)

Asked if the President was set to pardon another high-profile murder convict, Rolito Go, Dureza said: “Haka-haka lang po iyon [That’s speculation].”

(Translation: It depends, on how much money Rolito still has, and how strong his backers are in Malacanang)

Go was found guilty of murder three years after he shot and killed Eldon Maguan in 1991 following a traffic altercation. He is serving his sentence at the New Bilibid Prisons in Muntinlupa City.

(My guess: WTF, if a double murder case like Teehankee needs only 13 years in jail, Rolito should get half of that, about 6 1/2 years. Rolito, you lucky rich connected bastar_ you, you are going to be a free man soon)

Tetch Torres,


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